When Negative Energy comes Lurking: Stay Positive
The last time, I wrote about how to deal with a difficult boss. This time, it is dealing with negative people. We may have that, classmate, neighbour, in-law or colleague at work who is like a human black hole in our life. You will just be on your own doing your thing, then suddenly, these negative people will come with their negative energy. They begin to throw onto you this life-sucking and demeaning attitude. You try as much as possible to keep your chills, yet the negativity from them even gets higher. Then you feel really drained and your positivity, attacked.
Well, the sad news is that you cannot completely avoid them, and you may even be one of such. The good news is that you can manage them in such a way that it will be less stressful for you.
Staying positive amidst negative energy
The Golden Rule
We all know the golden rule – do to others as you would want them to do onto you. No matter how negative they become, always be calm. Do not lose your chills to their negativity. At times, remaining positive towards them can make them change their attitude towards you. Smile when you see them, say hello to them when possible. Being friendly admits their attitude towards you is not a sign of weakness but of courage and confidence.
Do not take it personally
Personally, this method works for me. I have learnt to overlook certain things and simply act as if they do not matter. I realise that the issue is not with me but with their attitude. Most of the times, their behaviours is as a result of their own personal prejudices, fears and insecurity. Sympathize with them and just let it go.
Avoid being defensive
The last time I tried being defensive, the problem got worse. So I thought it is better to not just be defensive. Rather, keep a calm body language, keep a calm voice and manner. Respond calmly where you need to and avoid any reaction. Think about what you want to say before you do that and ensure you have a conversation, not a confrontation.
Keep off from arguments
It is important for you to keep off from any argument at this point. Do not try to disagree with them, find ways of agreeing or ignoring them. Arguing will trigger so many emotions in you, and things may end up so badly, beyond your expectation. Just keep your chills and avoid arguments.
Focus on the issue
In such a situation, your focus should be on the issue at hand and not on the person. Do not consider the situations in the past and begin to act based on accumulated grievance. Find a way of handling the situation, not the person.
It’s a moment of growth
I had issues with a brother a few weeks back. At the end of the episode, I had to ask myself, “What is it I would have done better in such a situation?” I realized that changing perception would have avoided that problem.
Indeed, to live with negative, we have to change our perception of certain things. You have to understand the circumstances around the person’s life. Maybe their actions are as a result of their psychological makeup. Understanding these will change your perception and how to relate to them.towards them.
Despite the seeming negative energy around you, you still have to be grateful. The Bible reminds us to be thankful in all circumstances. Bless them and tell them how much you appreciate their presence. Throw in positive energy in the midst of the bad energy. Light will always overcome darkness.
It will do you much good if you do not go about complaining to people about the situation. Just take responsibility of your state of mind and emotions.
Make out time to stay on your own so that the grievance you have in your mind will gradually fade away for positive energy to come it. Being alone with your thoughts can go a long way in improving your mental health. You can take a meditative walk, engage in a hobby and some of those stuffs to keep your mind busy. This can make you not to take the negative episode so seriously. As a person, when I am in that situation, I just go on and write. Just write on anything, even if it is on that negative episode.
Dealing with a negative energy require humility on your part. If you find it difficult to handle the negativity of others, then it implies that you too have got your own negativity. Lol. Realizing that you have your own negativity to work on, will help you to be emphatic with others.
Everyone is struggling, and no one is a finished product. With a little compassion and maturity, we all will be fine.
No one is a negative person by default. People become negative usually as a way of responding to their nurture and most often their defense mechanism. It, therefore, will make much meaning if you understand them and relate with them with more love and kindness. It is often the situation that they need love or respect or even both.
Always remain positive when negative energy comes lurking.